I got nervous every time I felt happy
Every so often, a day would go genuinely well. And somewhere underneath the pleasure of it, right on cue, came a low hum of unease.
Every so often, a day would go genuinely well. And somewhere underneath the pleasure of it, right on cue, came a low hum of unease.
This ceremony was my last of my current visit to Peru, and there isn’t much to say about it other than it was a blissful ending and a sign of how far I’d come. Rather than the usual powdered mixture, I drunk a different kind of medicine. The San Pedro is boiled further and refined…
I drunk a single cup again in this ceremony – possibly ever so slightly more than the last ceremony, and then lay on my back and put my awareness on my breathing. I begun to notice minor distortions in the room and fidgeted a bit before relaxing and allowing the process to start. An octopus was…
My intention for this ceremony was to simply lie back and relax into whatever comes – no resistance, no attachment. This was something that I was bringing more and more often to ceremonies. We all drunk as usual, and I lay on my back patiently. I only needed the one cup this ceremony, and it…
From an intellectual perspective, each ceremony goes deeper and gets harder. From outside of the mind though, the ceremonies get easier. The suffering is caused by resistance, and with less and less resistance, it’s more a case of “it is whatever it is”. I realized in this ceremony that more and more of the things…
I hadn’t drunk again since the ceremony on the 3rd as I was very much still processing and integrating the experience – a giant evolutionary leap. In the mean time, I had started to learn about the fundamentals of Buddhism and Zen. I decided with Javier that my intention of that ceremony was to die….
We went hiking again with Miguel today and another good friend. We decided to do our favourite hike – the 3 lakes (Kinsa Cocha). We met at Paz Y Luz at 7.30am and took our usual taxi trip half way up the mountain to the home of one of the locals. It was bitterly cold,…
The intention I brought to this ceremony was to see the role that guilt plays in my life and the circles I was brought up in, before releasing it. I felt ready to undertake this big theme in one go at this stage, rather than spending endless ceremonies working through individual situations and people. “It’s…
I drunk at 6PM and lay back on my mat. When Javier came to offer the 2nd cup an hour later, I knew I didn’t need any more. The visions were strong and the medicine was definitely flowing. My muscles felt tense and my body was convulsing, but I lay flat and allowed it to…
I’d only ever sat in one Ayahuasca ceremony before, and I hadn’t experienced any visions or major breakthroughs in that ceremony. I was clearly doing the work I needed to do with San Pedro. The truth was, I was also scared of Ayahuasca. My last ceremony with San Pedro was the final release of those…